


Be Honest

by MerylAM573



Category: SideM - Fandom, THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: Anime: The iDOLM@STER SideM, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 23:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17887532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerylAM573/pseuds/MerylAM573
Summary: Touma was always a hot-headed person. It was no surprise that he would grow agitated over small things. However, when it comes to those he cares for, his anger skyrockets, and it becomes nearly impossible to calm him down. How will he deal with getting over seeing Kyosuke being verbally harrassed by a random stranger? Can he be honest about his worries without making Kyosuke worry about him?"The truth is... I'm worried about you, too."





	Be Honest

**Author's Note:**

> i among a few others crave emotional touma content so im here to give it!! im really proud of this one, so i hope you guys enjoy reading!!

It was no surprise Touma was naturally hot-headed. He'd grow angry over small things very easily. Normally he found it easy to calm down, but if someone he cared for ended up hurt, leveling himself out grew nearly impossible.

Standing on the sidewalk was Kyosuke and a random stranger, the stranger was insulting and degrading him. Telling him that his sibling's injury was his fault, and how he should be ashamed. Touma already felt the anger rising within him.  
"I know that already! I know it's my fault! Just leave me alone, please!" Poor Kyosuke really did believe that the injury was his own doing. Tears welled up in his eyes. Why can't he protect himself? Was it what he was being told making him feel powerless?  
"You don't even deserve him! You're useless, you're terrible!" The stranger just wouldn't even stop. Touma sprinted towards the two, grabbing onto the stranger's shirt and turning them around.  
"Don't you fucking ever insult one of 315Pro's idols! You insult one of us, you insult all of us! Get your ass out of here, and don't you ever hurt him again, you hear me?!" He shouted, so close to their face.  
"T-Touma!" Kyosuke stumbled back in surprise. The stranger ran off grumbling.

"Don't you come back either! ...Fucking asshole." Touma sighed, beginning to walk away. Kyosuke stood stunned, but came back to his senses and followed quickly.  
"Why did you do that?" He asked, wiping away his tears.  
"Because they kept persisting! It's not your fault your brother got injured, okay? It's not his either, besides, it was long ago." Despite trying to give comfort, Touma's tone was still incredibly aggressive.  
"It really is, though..." Kyosuke sighed, looking down.  
"No it's not!" Touma shouted again, startling him.  
"Sorry..."  
"Sorry."

Hours later, Touma still found himself agitated. He couldn't calm down. This seriously bothered him, in more ways than one. But he had a right to be mad. Nobody insults any friend of his and gets away with it. Nobody, not over his dead body. Like he said, you insult one, you insult the rest. That's just how things work. Yet he still felt bothered by it all. What kind of jerk would say things like that to anyone? Why did they target Kyosuke? Who would think of doing that? Questions upon questions filled Touma's head, and he grunted in frustration.

Touma lost sleep that night. Even though he should have let it go by now, his feelings persisted. He felt a little shaky and anxious now, rather than angry. Now he could tell he was worried. Was Kyosuke okay? Has he let his own feelings go? Is he mad too? All he could think about that night was how worried he had been about Kyosuke. He barely slept a wink.

The next day, Touma arrived at the office tired and upset. At least Jupiter had a dual lesson with W today. Maybe he could talk to Kyosuke? No, he'd think Touma was acting stupid, and that he's lost his mind. He wasn't in the mood for this today, but his thinking was clearly irrational. He probably really did lose his mind.

The lesson flew by in a blur. Temporarily Touma forgot about what had been troubling him. It all came back when it ended and Kyosuke went to talk to him.  
"Hey, thanks for sticking up for me yesterday. I really did appreciate that! Honestly!" He smiled, pushing up his glasses.  
"Yeah... no problem." Touma looked down at the floor.  
"Don't get yourself too caught up on it, okay?" However he looked back up upon hearing Kyosuke's words.  
"I'm not, don't worry." He lied, forcing a smile.  
"Alright. Well, I gotta go! See you!" Kyosuke waved as he left the room.  
"See you."

Just be honest, Touma. He wished it had been that easy. But he didn't want to make Kyosuke worry, that's not what he's here to do. Besides, if he didn't worry him, he'd think he's gone mad. The worst part of it was was that he was likely right. This seriously shouldn't bother him so much, but it does. The 17 year old sighed, flustered at his inability to just be honest about how he feels. This is his problem, not anybody else's.

Yet he had to tell someone. Nobody would understand it properly besides Kyosuke, but again, worrying him is what he's worried about. Just talk to him. Just do it already! Get closure on the situation! Touma banged his head against a wall three times, grunting in agitation the whole time. All he wanted was to talk to somebody who would understand why he's feeling the way he is.

The very next day, Touma had been sitting alone in a room at the office. He stared out a window, the sight out there had been gorgeous all day, but it didn't quite affect him. He heard the sound of a door opening, and looked back to see Kyosuke waving.  
"Hi Touma! Shouta told me you were here, so I came to find you." He smiled warmly. Of course Shouta told him, when doesn't he?  
"I've been kinda worried about you lately." Touma rolled his eyes, that's exactly what he didn't want to happen!  
"Can we talk?" Kyosuke fumbled his hands, growing a little nervous at Touma's lack of reply. He shrugged, but Kyosuke still sat next to him.

"...How come you decided to protect me?" That's the exact same question he had asked before, albeit worded differently. No reply.  
"Was it because you felt bad for me?" No reply. Kyosuke sighed. Had Touma simply zoned out? No, he was listening intently. Was he afraid to hurt him?  
"Be honest." If only he could. Still, no reply. He heard Kyosuke sigh in defeat.  
"If... you don't want to talk right now, that's okay. Really! But if you need anything, I'll be around, so come find me!" He got up and began to leave. As he touched the doorknob, Touma finally spoke up.

"Wait!" He held out his hand, acting like that would really stop him. Kyosuke looked back, confused.  
"Do you want me to stay here?" Touma nodded.  
"Sorry, I just... don't feel like being alone right now." He looked down at the floor.  
"That's fine! It's good you're talking, even if it's only a little. You really worried me for a sec!" Of fucking course you worried him. Of fucking course!  
"Listen... I don't want you to worry about me, I'm fine." Lying never works when you're not okay, but Touma doubted he would ever learn.  
"Are you sure?" Kyosuke asked, skeptical.

No, he isn't sure at all. Hell, he isn't sure even if what he's feeling is really okay!  
"Yeah..." No! That's not right! Say no! An alarm sounded off in the 17 year old's head.  
"You really don't look it, though. That's why I'm worried! You say you're okay, but you look so sad! Lately it's all I see from you, and it's really scaring me. Is there really nothing wrong?"  
"Y-" Touma stopped himself, growing tense.  
"No." He corrected himself. Finally. Finally he told the truth.  
"What's wrong, then?" Kyosuke pushed up his glasses. Touma sighed, hesitating.

"The truth is... I'm worried about you, too. I just felt so angry when that guy kept insulting you, I couldn't just stand by! You're somebody I care about, dammit!" His voice raised close to a shout, but he tried to calm down, taking a deep breath.  
"I don't like seeing you hurt like that. I don't want to see you hurt like that. It hurts me too, you know." Kyosuke listened to every word said to him intently.  
"I just... I just want to see you doing okay. To see you smiling. I want this for everyone else too. When you get hurt it hurts me too, I can't help it." His voice cracked, he could just feel himself about to cry. For a moment, the room was silent, as Touma felt himself at a loss for words.

"You're not... mad at me for that, right?" He finally spoke up again.  
"Not at all! If anything, I'm glad you told me! I'm still super grateful you decided to help me out when you did, I don't think I'd be able to defend myself then. Because everything they told me really was true..." Kyosuke trailed off, his voice quiet.  
"No! Don't say that! It's not true! This is just what I'm worried about! You're not terrible, and you're definitely not useless!" Touma's voice raised yet again, he grew a little frustrated, he refused to just let Kyosuke get down on himself that way.

"I don't know if I can believe that just yet." The 18 year old began to tear up, but blinked it away.  
"Just don't talk down on yourself like that! I can't bear to... to see you hurt yourself, let alone someone else hurting you!" Touma began to get choked up, about to burst into tears.  
"Okay... I'll try to not do that anymore. Really! But... can you also be more honest with me?" Kyosuke smiled softly, hoping to give a little comfort too, after getting some himself.  
"Of co- fuck... sorry I just-" Touma cut himself off, choking back a sob.  
"I just need a sec." He covered his mouth with his hand and looked away. Stop crying, pull yourself together.  
"That's okay. ...Can I give you a hug, though?" Kyosuke opened his arms, and immediately Touma had fallen into them, letting go and sobbing.

Being worried seriously sucked. Both Touma and Kyosuke could agree that being honest about your feelings was so much better. Especially when you're letting your walls down to cry.  
"Pull it together..." Touma mumbled to himself, trying and failing to stop his crying.  
"It's alright if you cry, Touma! I'm really proud of you, you know. You finally told me how you really felt, and that makes me feel a lot better!" Despite his smiling face, Kyosuke found himself crying as well.  
"So don't worry, you can cry as long as you need to! I could use a tear fest right about now, to tell you the truth!" That's exactly what the two had for the next little while. It had been just what they both needed after these past few days.

After a while, the two just sat in an embrace, only needing each other's company and nothing more. Even though neither of them were crying anymore, they just felt comfortable with one another. They stayed like this for a long time, feeling proud of one another.  
"Hey, Touma? Do you wanna come over later?" Kyosuke asked, pulling away a little.  
"Sure thing. Thanks for listening to me there, by the way." Touma replied, smiling genuinely for the first time in a little while.  
"And thanks for listening to me, too!" Without looking, anybody could just hear the happiness just within Kyosuke's tone of voice.

None of the 18 year old's joy could compare to Touma's right now, though. He felt so glad that he ended up being able to share how he really felt, that in the end, he could finally...

Be honest!

**Author's Note:**

> ill be honest, as proud as i am of this fic, im also afraid to post it. im not too confident in my works half the time after bad situations i wont get into, but i powered through it and posted this fic, didnt i?
> 
> btw thanks to some of yall in the sidem server im in for motivating me and helping me out!!! i really appreciate it!!  
> i hope you enjoyed reading!


End file.
